Week 4 - Blog 2

Ch. 10 Maintaining Relationships – Blog 2

On pages 288-291, relational maintenance and equity are discussed. Psychologists and scholars both agree that when a couple views their relationship as equitable, where both parties contribute and benefit an equal amount, they are generally happier and more stable. On p. 291 the text states the following: “A sense of equity in the relationship, the absence of a major conflict, the expression of attraction, and a confrontational conflict management style were related to higher levels of psychological intimacy.” The piece of information that appeals most to me from this statement is the reference to a direct conflict style. As the text states, a confrontational conflict management style involves face-to-face and direct communication. There are many people who are conflict avoiders and/or passive-aggressive. These qualities can be detrimental in both intimate and casual relationships. As uncomfortable as it may be, significant others should address conflicts with straightforward communication. This, of course, doesn’t mean that you disrespect one another or allow the confrontation to be one-sided. Instead, it should be an “open discussion of differences.” Couples are likely rewarded for this openness by realizing clarity at the point of stasis; often times, we don’t even know where the actual disagreement is occurring. Once that is determined, clarification and understanding become prevalent.