Week 4 - Blog 3

Ch. 11 De-escalating Relationships – Blog 3

On p. 341, our text begins discussing tactics people use when trying to disengage from a relationship. The withdrawal or avoidance tactics and justification tactics are mentioned on p. 344. I’m of the opinion that withdrawal/avoidance is the least effective way to end a relationship where as the justification tactic is one of the most effective means. Avoiding someone creates tensions not only between the disengager and the disengagee but also between any mutual, common relationships each party may have had outside their dyad. Avoiding someone as a means to de-escalate a relationship shows utter disrespect for the other party. Avoidance is pretty much the cowardly way out.

The justification messages, on the other hand, provide clear communication that the relationship is terminated. When a relationship is ending, it is important for both parties to avoid any vague or ambiguous messages; clearly stating that the relationship is over helps eliminate any confusion over the relationship’s status. In the justification approach, a reason is also given for the break-up. I’ve found that people can learn so much about who they are and what they want in a partner by understanding why certain relationships are/were not a good fit. These realizations are only made known through open discussion of the reasons for parting ways.